Ugly Truth 30: Today My Son Was Diagnosed

Dear Readers,

Today, I fell to tears on my way home from work after a losing sleep battle at 5am, chronic pain, and the challenge of another trying day for my son. Today, Zachary was diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

Today, I grieve for my son; for the way things will always be harder for him, for the way he can not yet apply insight toward his behavior, for the friends and caregivers who will misunderstand him and unwittingly make things worse, for the way he covers his ears when noises are too loud, for the way his IQ soars but his social life suffers, for the way I fiercely attempt to guard his self-esteem, for the way I fear I wont be vigilant enough, for those who will and do pressure us into difficult decisions, for the way he severely grapples to regulate his emotions, for the songs he sings that so many will mishear, for the constant redirection of a conformist society, for the way his intelligence will always lend itself to his awareness that he is different.

If you don’t believe in these diagnoses, do me a favor and keep your opinion to yourself. I can assure you our pain as a family is very real, but it is not unattended. Zachary has received hundreds of hours of counseling, various therapies, behavior intervention plans, the benefits of countless round table committee meetings by his cheerleaders, and accommodations as his progression and challenges fluctuate.

For now, I will have to rest in the years of education and instinct I have invested in. I will have to rest in the competence of the team, physicians, teachers and loving family that surround him. For now, I will have to rest in the knowledge that even when I am imperfect, I am enough.

Final Summation: The ability to comfort yourself is invaluable.

For more excellent insight and entertainment through a collaborative approach to all things mental health, including a guest post from yours truly, visit the Blunt Therapy Blog by Randy Withers, LPC! For additional perspectives on suicide prevention from master level mental health providers visit, 20 Professional Therapists Share Their Thoughts on Suicide!

In collaboration with Luis Posso, an Outreach Specialist from DrugRehab.com, Deskraven is now offering guides on depression and suicide prevention to its readers. For more information on understanding the perils of addiction visit, Substance Abuse and Suicide: A Guide to Understanding the Connection and Reducing Risk! In addition, for a comprehensive depression resource guide from their sister project at Columbus Recovery Center visit, Dealing with Depression!

Trauma Confession Series: Mourning

“Grief of this sort is a necessary and restorative process that permits a person to bring new life and a renewed sense of hope to childhood hardship and deprivation. Looked at in this way grief allows us to cleanse ourselves of hurt and loss and continue to grow and to expand our sense of ourselves.” – Synergia Counseling, Victoria, BC

Dear Readers,

Welcome back! This is part III of a series exploring the impact of childhood trauma, what we can do to heal, and the insight I gather through my own journey. For further resource please also visit Trauma Confession Series: Overcoming Avoidance and Trauma Confession Series: Love After Abuse.

Forgive my absence. It has been my experience that the process of mourning childhood loss has devastated my ability to create content. Today, I hope to take a step back and examine what this means and why it’s important in the recovery process as it relates to surviving childhood trauma.

Grief or mourning often results while overcoming the avoidance of past trauma by confronting the truth of what happened to you. You may find yourself feeling sorrowful or resentful for the deprivation or abuse you experienced. You may feel an intense rage toward your perpetrators for what they took from you. You may experience significant disruption to your typical internal experiences and dialogue. This type of grief is different from traditional loss and may present itself in the form of regression. Regression is described as a return to a state of consciousness that reflects the age or mindset you were in at the time of a painful or violating event.

Acknowledging these psychological phenomena as they are occurring can be a challenge. Many people may not even realize they are grieving due to the flailing it may cause, and may display outwardly uncharacteristic behavior such as irritability, agitation, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, crying spells, flashbacks or depression. You might also notice frantic efforts to avoid psychological anguish such as increased distraction, substance abuse, or other self-destructive patterns.

The important thing is to acknowledge, accept, and allow this grief to run its course while realizing the wealth of wisdom that can come from it. Acknowledging our mourning rather than trying to suppress it teaches us value of self. It allows us to accept the painful experiences we have endured by acknowledging they were unjust, undeserving, and have no bearing whatsoever on our worth. Allowing these sensations to well up and wane is extremely agonizing, but it also allows us due process. When you resurface again, you will be all the stronger and wiser for it.

This is not easy! This is legitimate self-work that requires exposure and suffering. It is no wonder why so many, me included, prefer concealment or denial. Personally, I consider this one of the most difficult steps toward recovery from trauma, as it often results in a significant return of symptoms related to mental illness. Just as we must overcome avoidance by staying in the presence of pain, we must also acknowledge and empathize with the child in us who was slated or abandoned.

Synergia Counseling has published an exceptional blog on the topic of Adult Grieving in Response to Childhood Loss or Trauma. In it they explain the self-awareness that may be lacking, the unmet needs of a thriving childhood, and the emotional or intellectual development that may halt as a result of exposure to trauma.

Acknowledge.

Accept.

Allow.

You will tremble, cry, rage, languish, and writhe – but – you will also stabilize, heal, resolve, strengthen and ease again.

Additional Reading:

From Bustle, 11 Signs You Might Be Repressing Negative Childhood Memories

From Psychology Today, 9 Steps to Healing Childhood Trauma as an Adult

For more excellent insight and entertainment through a collaborative approach to all things mental health, including a guest post from yours truly, visit the Blunt Therapy Blog by Randy Withers, LPC! For additional perspectives on suicide prevention from master level mental health providers visit, 20 Professional Therapists Share Their Thoughts on Suicide!

In collaboration with Luis Posso, an Outreach Specialist from DrugRehab.com, Deskraven is now offering guides on depression and suicide prevention to its readers. For more information on understanding the perils of addiction visit, Substance Abuse and Suicide: A Guide to Understanding the Connection and Reducing Risk! In addition, for a comprehensive depression resource guide from their sister project at Columbus Recovery Center visit, Dealing with Depression!

7 Truths About Mental Illness Related Fatigue

“I often wished that more people understood the invisible side of things. Even the people who seemed to understand, didn’t really.”

– Jennifer Starzec, Determination (5k, Ballet, #2)

 

Dear Readers,

Fatigue is one of the most stigmatized topics in mental health. Often times onlookers suspect an embellishment or falsehood of some kind. Even more often, age discrimination becomes real. Things like, “Be grateful you’re so young and healthy…” or “You just slept 12 hours, how could you be tired?” or “Why can’t you get out of bed?” really drive a knife into my side. Afterall, how could I possibly be advantageous enough to educate someone who just doesn’t know any better when I can’t lift my own legs?

Fatigue, or excessive exhaustion resulting from mental or physical exertion or illness, is a complex issue and often manifests itself differently in a wide range of circumstances. The same can be said within the realm of mental health alone, as exhaustion varies and fluctuates from one individual to the next. See below for the various ways fatigue presents itself in my life, and how different symptoms require different coping skills.

1. Insomnia

The inability to fall asleep.

2. Sleep Disturbances

The inability to stay asleep.

3. Anxiety

The ever energy-consuming disorder that is the physical manifestation of a psychological event. Symptoms include shaking, nausea, changes in cardiac health, disproportionate fear, crying, nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, numbness or tingling in the extremities, trouble breathing and chest pain.

4. Bi-Polar Disorder

Mania

Racing thoughts, increased energy, pressured speech, grand ideas with no real execution, psychosis, decreased need for sleep – all from which there will be a hard-hitting physical crash.

Depression

Loss of interest, loss of appetite and general apathy all lead to feelings of fatigue. Ironically, depression can be a saving grace as it often results in a significant paralysis that leaves you unable to execute self-destructive behavior.

5. PTSD

Nightmares, hypervigilance, guilt, flashbacks, sensory input and overstimulation all contribute to an inflamed sense of stress and insomnia.

6. Chronic Pain & Migraines

Inflammation, swelling, paralysis, joint, bone & nerve pain related to a slipped disc in my spine resulting in sciatic nerve compression, trouble walking and episodic pain flares. Migraines consistent with auras, tension, nausea, light sensitivity, and writhing pain.

7. Medication

Medication side effects may include restlessness, insomnia, drowsiness, or sedation.

It doesn’t take a scholar to understand how draining these experiences can be. Add to that morning exhaustion a full plate of daily obligation and you have yourself the perfect recipe for a total nervous breakdown, complete with snot bubbles. So, what’s my answer to all this?

MAKE SELF-CARE A PRIORITY.

INTERRUPT THE BLAMING, SHAMING, SELF LOATHING CYCLE.

KNOW WHEN TO ASK FOR HELP OR SAY NO.

SLOWLY RETURN TO THE THINGS YOU LOVE.

EMPATHIZE WITH YOURSELF.

My hope is that this post will serve as a resource for those who may not understand the sleepy behaviors of their loved ones, as well as promote awareness and tolerance in otherwise difficult situations. Additionally, may it serve as a validating referral for those of you who suffer.

For more excellent insight and entertainment through a collaborative approach to all things mental health, including a guest post from yours truly, visit the Blunt Therapy Blog by Randy Withers, LPC! For additional perspectives on suicide prevention from master level mental health providers visit, 20 Professional Therapists Share Their Thoughts on Suicide! In collaboration with Luis Posso, an Outreach Specialist from DrugRehab.com, Deskraven is now offering guides on depression and suicide prevention to its readers. For more information on understanding the perils of addiction visit, Substance Abuse and Suicide: A Guide to Understanding the Connection and Reducing Risk! In addition, for a comprehensive depression resource guide from their sister project at Columbus Recovery Center visit, Dealing with Depression!